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Cuz I Can

29 Dec

Today I am venting on my blog. What the heck hell do I have a blog for if I can’t share what the heck hell I really feel? And it’s my blog, I can say what I want! So I am going to scratch that. See what I did there? Cleverness.

Some of my pet peeves are coming up. Pet peeves is such a bizarre term. But I guess that comes from being peeved. Your favorite things that PISS YOU THE HELL OFF! You might be one of the people who has caused me such irritation. I’m sorry for you.You need to change the way you are to completely satisfy me. No, I won’t name names. You know who you are. If you get offended, DON’T READ MY BLOG. (Wow, I am not usually so brash.) The first few are grammatical.

1) The word frustrating has an R up front. YES, it does! Can’t you spell? You certainly can’t read correctly. If I hear you say FUSTRATING one more time, I am going to let you have it. Because it FRUSTRATES me when you say it incorrectly. GET IT STRAIGHT.

2) When you are using a word with a vowel at the beginning of it, you need to say AN not A. You do not have A opinion, you have AN opinion. You do not eat A apple, you eat AN apple. You need to stop writing A article for the paper and start writing AN article. Do you see what I am doing here? I am just guiding you on the path to a better YOU.

3)”I AM LOOSING MY MIND!” Really? Because I think it came loose and fell out long ago. Seriously, you lose your mind; your tooth is loose. There are two different words we are working with here. You can’t just add as many o’s as you want. I swear I didn’t make the rules, I just follow them. Feel free to take it up with those who did. And good luck with that. And yes, I AM being the grammar police. Why? CUZ I CAN.

4) Yes. Yeah. Yea. Yah. Yay. Can we just agree on one way of spelling this?? Just like the “adult truth” I saw recently – can we just all agree not to use whatever comes after the Blu-ray?

5) Maybe this is a regional thing, I am not sure. Usually I am ok with people’s accents and variations on words, but…when the name “Wendy” is pronounced “Windy” and then this same person will pronounce “milk” like “melk”. Or they say you are from Chicago, ELLinois. Not ILLinois. Are you ELL instead of ILL? No, I don’t think so.

Other things that are a little annoying. Silly, really.

1) I could leave it at just that one word, couldn’t I? There are many things that make texting annoying. A few near and dear to my heart are as follows:

A) Someone who is on their phone constantly, texts back RIGHT AWAY, but when you ask them something they don’t want to answer, they don’t. It could be DAYS or simply “I never got that text. Huh.” Jerks. Just say NO, people. If you don’t want to do it, be a part of it, say NO. I have been saying NO a lot more lately. Usually I am a pushover and I let people walk over me because I’m too nice to say NO. This is one of my new year’s resolutions. JUST SAY NO. To whatever. Saying NO to drugs is easy. Saying NO to a friend is hard.

B) To quote a tweet from Dane Cook that I happened to retweet recently, “How long should you wait for a reply from someone via text before you assume they’ve been murdered?” This could apply to the person who always answers their texts right away but mainly it is for those who just never answer you sometimes. Why? Then you start thinking, did they change their number? Did I piss them off? Maybe they read one of my blog posts and I have made them angry at me and I did not realize it! OR have they been murdered?!

C) The wicked long texter. When you get a text from them and it’s actually broken up into like 5 texts? And you have to wait for the next one and then the next one to come through? I am guilty of this sometimes. But I hate it when I get one answer texts (That is D) that don’t answer my question or are so vague that I think they might be replying to someone else’s text but sent it to me instead. So to make up for those texters, I over-explain.

D) See above.

2) The ever confusing Facebook chat vs. messages. I say they should be two different things. And I miss half of them. What’s that about? That brings me to

3) Twitter direct messages. If I delete a message on my phone that I have sent to someone, it deletes it out of their “inbox”? Seriously? That shit ain’t right. So again, because I like to keep it clean, people aren’t getting MY messages. Nice.

4) People that USE others. Oh, you work at such and such a place, can I get a discount? If I offer you my discount, that is one thing. If you ask me for it, that is just rude. You don’t love me, you love my discount. Especially since I just met you. And don’t show up at my job and expect me to give it to you. I will leave yo ass in line and decide it is time to go on my break. This is also a good time to practice saying NO. Don’t get me wrong, if you are a good friend and we’ve been friends for years and you ask once in a while, that is different. I know you are just not using me for that. On the other hand, it can sometimes be a good friend, but they have that streak in them that comes out of nowhere. “Hey, can I totally inconvenience you for like 3 days?” NO.

Wow. That stuff has been bothering me for like, 23 years. I’m so glad I got that off my chest. Ha! That’s another post altogether. Ugh. Men!

I hope you don’t think I am being mean. I am just stating my opinion, which is perfectly ok to do so since this is my blog and there is freedom of speech and you know what, I don’t care if you do. Feel free to vent your own irritations and peevishness. It’s fun.

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Disconnected

15 Dec

Tis the Season. Ho. Ho. Ho. I just can’t get up the Christmas Spirit this year. I am so tired. I’ve tried everything:

1) I thought maybe decorating would work. My husband got the tree put up, thankfully it is a pre-lit artificial tree. Oh, wait, the pre-lit lights didn’t work so he threw on some other lights that move around and do fancy things like the fountain at the Bellagio.

However, the thought of having to dig through the 8 bins of decorations and get out ornaments, snowmen, the cutesy door decorations, the stockings, the Christmas card holder and gah! So we went to the dollar store and bought red and gold ball ornaments and garland, stockings, glitter glue and cheap plastic “no damage” hooks to stick on the fireplace. As Christmas cards come, I hole-punch and string them up on the curtain rod in the livingroom with red ribbon. Still, it takes me 3-4 days to get the latest ones up. But I have to say, it does add some festivity to the livingroom. We decorated our new stockings just last night and hung them on the fireplace with care. We needed new stockings anyways as Big A and Little A’s both said “1st Christmas”. I had intended to make new ones for them on their second Christmases. Yeah, that didn’t happen. I didn’t make that mistake with Hiccup’s this year.

2) I thought an obscene amount of baking would get me into the spirit. I promised family I would send cupcake bites as Christmas presents so I spent one weekend making those and Christmas Tree Pops. Another weekend making peanut butter blossoms. Most of this week was spent making toffee and chocolate covered pretzels. Oh and I volunteered to make stuff for the bake sale at the kid’s school. Tomorrow night and Saturday morning I am making more peanut butter blossoms and this brownie candy cups recipe I found on Bakerella’s site. Yum. I think I will be done after that. Unless we spend Christmas Eve with the boys making cookies and reading Christmas stories. That will be nice. Oh, but look what she does to the peanut butter blossom cookie. I just found this as I went to grab the links! It’s the cuppie one I am talking about further down the page…lower…lower…yeah, right there! Double Yum!

3) I thought listening to Christmas music would help. OMG. I absolutely HATE the songs “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time” and “Last Christmas”. And since everyone and their brother has re-made those songs, they are played even more than they used to be!

4) I tried Christmas shopping. That never is a good idea to get into the spirit. You kind of have to already be there to put up with that nonsense.

5) My last attempt was to do something fun for my husband. A friend of mine’s husband used to give her a gift on every day of the 12 days of Christmas. I am not sure if he still does it. I always thought that was cute. So 3 days ago, I gave my husband a pack of Apple Pie gum. He loves pie. Then on the second day of Christmas I gave him finger lights to work in the dark on his computer. Our office is also Hiccup’s room so often he is in the dark playing his game while Hiccup is sleeping. I thought the finger lights were pretty cool. Today, the third day of Christmas, I gave him 3 sticks of beef jerky. He loves this stuff. We shall see what tomorrow brings!

This last attempt is working a little bit. I love giving presents. I also dropped a tin of my baked goods off at an office where a bunch of friends work. That felt good, too. I can’t keep that s%&t in my house. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips, bloggers…there is still a bunch of toffee in the fridge. Hubby came home, looked at it, shook his head and said, “Nothing says I love you like crack cocaine in your fridge. Thanks,babe.”

Is it weird that that gave me a warm fuzzy? I don’t think so. 🙂

How To Train Your Baby

31 May

I am down to only 30 days left of this pregnancy. For those who have not heard, I am having a planned c-section on June 29th at 10:30 am. A moment of silence for a successful birth at that time would be appreciated! 😉

We have been having an unusually difficult time naming this baby. The other boys, of course, are A names. You know them as Big and Little. My first thought was to continue on with the A and this one would be Baby A for a time. Then turn into Little and Little into Middle. But then I thought, I don’t want Little to be Middle – that just sets a tone already. The middle child. Ugh. And then Hubby and I could not agree on another A name anyways. He was interested in things like Archer or Asher. Even Argus. Ummm…not so much. I like Anderson. We already have Anthony, Andrew and a few more in the family. I don’t want to duplicate.

We even played a game at my shower so everyone could help think of names with me. This is what we got:

Archer – again!
Bradley – LOVE Bradley Cooper but there was this icky boy in highschool named Bradley. Nope.
Christopher – have it in the family
Doug – HA!
Edward – I am not naming the baby any Twilight characters whether I love the books and movies or not
Frederick
George
Harper
Ian
Jack
Kyle
Laurence
Mason
Neil
Oscar – the name of my dear friend’s dead cat. I don’t think so 😦
Peter
Quentin
Ralph – something we also call vomit? No
Samuel – LOVE this but there is a Samantha in the family only a little older than this baby
Tristan
Ulysses
Vincent
Wilbert
Xavier
Yonnie
Zack

We went around one more time just to see. It got a little crazy:

Austin
Brendan
Carl
David
Elmo
Fernando
Grant
Horace
Isaiah
Joshua – in the family
Kevin – in the family
Liam
Michael
Norman – Bates!
Oliver – This was actually in the list hubby and I agreed on!
Parker – mean kid in Big A’s class
Quincy
Richard
Stanley – Studdering Stanley – Sixth Sense
Train – ?
Uranus – no
Vladimir
Walley
Xray – no
Yemen – no
Zylaphone – spelled specifically this way so it was a Z name. Nice.

So, we are still not 100% sure what the poor baby’s name is going to be. One thing I can tell you is that this kid gets cases of the hiccups at least 3 times a day. So, even if his real name is different, I am going to call him Hiccup.