What If….

15 Jan

spincyclesmallThe Sprite’skeeper has tasked us this week with the Spin of “What If!”

What if there was a magical place where you could take your three year old child to have a volume control chip inserted into him? The chip would be controlled by a remote with, of course, a mute button. This remote could also change the attitude of the child from crabby to sweet; obnoxious to angelic; hyper to exhausted and ready for a nap. There would be no way to change the child’s attitude to any of the negative things, naturally.

Think of the uses! Car trips would no longer be such a daunting experience. No one would care if they sat near a family on an airplane. You could take your child to the movie theater without being that parent. You would be welcomed back to the fold at your neighborhood church. The possibilities are endless!

When you are at the store/doctor’s office/restaurant where your child is about to embarrass you very publicly by stating in his very loud, attention grabbing toddler voice, “Mommy, that yady has a hairy face!” You could press that mute button in a flash, because they now make a travel remote that you could link to a very fashionable bracelet on your wrist!

The procedure would probably be costly, but well worth it and a discount for multiple children.

I hear they are working on one for waywardly husbands now, too! I am buying stock in the company.

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8 Responses to “What If….”

  1. goodbadandugly2 January 15, 2009 at 11:00 am #

    hmmm this sounds like a good idea! 🙂

  2. Sprite's Keeper January 15, 2009 at 11:45 am #

    You are so funny! I had the same thought myself this week! I actually posted my status on Facebook about how I was trying to find Sprite’s toddler manual because I could swear I saw a section on volume control! Your first paragraph alone had me in hiccups. You’re linked! And brilliant!

  3. bex January 15, 2009 at 4:53 pm #

    very funny – well done!

  4. graciouslady January 16, 2009 at 10:18 am #

    You might start a club where all loud voiced children could congregate and out loud each other, think hoe that would sound. Keep up the good work.

  5. kirsty815 January 16, 2009 at 10:25 am #

    LMAO!!! Put me on the list for both the toddler and the hubby remote and if I have to choose I’ll take the hubby remote. ;O)

  6. Wendy January 16, 2009 at 4:32 pm #

    Yeah, I definitely need one of those! I don’t care how much it would cost. I would prositute myself if need be. 😉 lol

  7. sammanthia January 17, 2009 at 11:19 am #

    I would love one of those and would move Heaven and Earth to find it. Sigh.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. RTT: Loose Lips Sink Ships or LONGEST BUS RIDE EVER! « D.M. Wright Books - June 23, 2009

    […] He says in his not so quiet voice. This is the time when I really could have used that magic chip with a remote that silences the child. YES, there were people staring at us in horror! O. M. G.!!! So, I just […]

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